Break Out of the Work Mold and Start Living!
A guest post by Lillian Maresch, Ph.D.
So many people have taken the courageous step to walk away from careers that no longer provide them with intrinsic or energetic rewards, literally choosing personal happiness and inner fulfillment over the need for a high paying job that leaves them emotionally bankrupt.
For example, a multi-talented teacher in the New York public school system, whose dedication to her students was compromised by a board of education lacking in integrity, found herself propelled into the healing arts, which was her first love. Similarly, a tech-savvy systems analyst, whose passion for artistic creation was squelched on the job, reached his frustration threshold and turned his innate talents loose on clay and canvas. These are just two illustrations of a growing trend of incredibly bright, creative individuals following their heart and carving out a new career path for themselves, or better said, a new, inspired livelihood and way of being.
Listening to their stories of work transition is not only gratifying, but also deeply familiar and uplifting. Walking away from the stress of keeping up appearances in an emotionally unrewarding career, to feeling truly alive and liberated by doing something you’re really good at and love, usually requires a great deal of trust and courage, since the new situation may be on the periphery of social status and high pay – at least initially.
But many of us have forsaken our long held careers for the promise of a richer, emotional life and, in so doing, have aligned our day-to-day lives with our life purpose – and never looked back.
If you’ve considered doing this, or are fortunate enough to have already done it, you know that it’s not always easy. In fact, it usually involves a tremendous amount of soul searching and bank book assessment – can I really afford to do this? Which almost always triggers the heartfelt reply, how can I afford not to?
Taking the leap of faith and launching a new, more creative and freeing career can be as anxiety provoking as it is palpably rewarding. Work no longer feels like work, much less drudgery. And you get paid for it. What a concept! People are quick to compliment your talents and insights, not to mention thanking you for a job well done. “When was the last time I received those kinds of strokes?” we remind ourselves time and again.
But then there is the matter of a smaller paycheck, at least in the beginning, oftentimes a fraction of what we’ve earned for years, perhaps decades. And the old programs start replaying in our heads: What have I done? Have I lost my mind? How am I ever going to make it? When will my work grow and truly prosper? Look at Susan. She’s still earning a big 6-figure income, like I used to!, but I’m back at a grad student’s wage scale. What’s wrong with me?
And then we get a call from Susan, or Dan, or Marty, who proceed to launch into their usual complaints with a vengeance about their nonstop work schedules, traveling more than a United Airlines pilot, having little if any quality time at home, much less any precious down time for themselves, along with the concomitant stress, resentment (often projected onto loved ones), little sleep, and a diet that is anything but nourishing, healthy and energizing. Occasionally they express envy at our relative freedom and balance, not to mention the delight we have for what we’re doing. They start hypothesizing about how many more years it will take them to reach their financial goals so that they, too, can break away from the monotonous, if agonizing treadmill they’re on and get a life, a real life.
And then the ‘thank goodness I’m out of all that’ kicks in within us. And we remember why we left the corporate world, or the 24/7 start-up venture, or the thankless job to which we devoted so many years. Why did we stay there so long, putting up with the emptiness, the regrets, the loss (of life)? Good pay, for starters. And the security of a good job with a respected title, labeling us as competent, knowledgeable, successful: Senior Director, VP, Assistant Principal, you name it. But these material benefits never filled our emotional emptiness or brought us deep, lasting happiness.
For those who have mustered the courage to make a major life transition, there are still occasional days when doubts may plague us. Can we honestly say we’re content now? The majority of us can, easily . . . perhaps with the exception of those intermittent times when there’s not enough work that fuels our passion, or projects are slow trickling in. And in those moments we hear how incredibly busy and financially successful Dan or Susan is, while we’re doing our utmost to generate and sustain enough satisfying work.
If the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence, all you have to do is rewind the clock and remember how you felt before you made the big career shift in your life. Want to go back to that life again? I don’t think so.
As the economy continues to present challenges, and as we age individually and as a nation, more and more people will be soul searching, looking for a better way of living and fulfilling one’s purpose in life. And you can count your lucky stars for having had the insight and courage to make a big move in the right direction – toward living and expressing your passion, loosening yourself from the grip of the proverbial ‘shoulds,’ being truly free and feeling alive.
Would love to know what your experiences have been like. Does any of this resonate with you? Have you taken any big steps lately, even conceptually? Whether you have or haven’t, it’s wonderful to remember that as you shine your light, the whole world benefits!
